Saturday, March 5, 2005

Word Jumble

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing ONE letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are some of this year's winners:

1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

I tried a few myself. Here is what I came up with:

Contempo: The rate of speed at which disapproval turns to disgust.

Contamidation: The simultaneous act of polluting one’s body and being damned to eternal punishment for it.

Bumbilical: When two people become awkwardly joined together.

Conformite: A person of small mind who acts in accordance with prevailing social values. They can live in great numbers, infesting a community.