Friday, June 10, 2005

Bifurcation

I had the strangest dream last night. Dan and I were at a wedding, except I didn’t know who was getting married or where exactly we were. I have the vague recollection of wandering through some grand corridors, like one would find in a castle, and looking out a window to see a panorama of lush green hills.

The part of the dream that is still most clear is as follows:

I was in the shower and Dan came in saying that when I was done he would help me study for my test. He had sliced his foot open to look like the anatomical illustrations in my biology textbook. “For ease in displaying the veins,” he explained. I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me, not alarmed at all. Then he took a large serrated knife and with his own hand sliced his head down the center from the crown to the chin, yet he was still talking and walking around. There was no blood, just a clean separation like using a comb to part one’s hair. He said, “I’d do anything for you Dawn.” And then Lorelei and Luke from Gilmore Girls burst into the room. They were trying to hide from their spouses. They admitted to having an affair, and begged us to let them hide out in our bedroom until it was safe to leave.

That is about all I remember. The strange calmness, and lack of pain or blood with Dan’s cleavered head and foot. Me, naked and dripping water, freshly showered… and the adulterous television pair in my bedroom in a remote castle on the wedding day of an unknown couple.

When I was telling Dan about this dream I immediately realized the thematic recurrence of duality, bifurcation, and vulnerability. Do I believe Dan to be two-faced? Are his emotional and logical sides too divided? Do I feel exposed, at risk with our relationship? A dream about adultery on the cusp of an initiation into wedlock cannot be good, especially when the groom’s identity is unknown and the man pledging devotion is a bloodless, butchered, two-faced instructor of anatomy.